Let's Talk About My Mother's Funeral

This week, we’re excited to welcome My Mother's Funeral: The Show to The Weston Studio. 

To provide a deep dive into the production, we've invited Ruby Walker, one of the hosts of Let's Talk About Loss in Bristol to chat with the show's Director, Charlotte Bennett. 

The pair delve into the intricate themes, creative process, and the inspiration behind the show based on Charlotte’s own relationship with loss and grief. 

Here’s how it went:

Ruby: Did your own experiences with grief or personal loss influence your direction of the play?

Charlotte: I think it was hard to ignore my own experiences of grief and loss when making this show, and especially the loss of my mum, which felt very present throughout for me. I have also had a lot of grief counselling and found myself referencing that in the process too; exploring how grief and shock work, and the complex relationships with lost loved ones. I lost my daughter very unexpectedly in 2021, and the element of a sudden shock death was also something I thought of a lot; the difference in where grief sits depending on how the person dies and how our brains process what has happened when it is sudden, versus when it is a longer-term illness. 

R: Was there any particular scene or moment in the play that was especially difficult to direct, either emotionally or logistically? 

C: The scene where the ghost mum appears and visits Abi I found very emotional. There is a line where Abi sobs into her chest and says ‘It’s so unfair’ and I often cry like that into my pillow about my own mum. Sometimes when you’re grieving a parent you loved so much you turn into a 5-year-old child who just wants to cry for their mum to come and pick them up again. 

R: What challenges did you face in balancing the sombre themes of death and mourning with the play’s dramatic or theatrical elements?

C: The text in the play does a lot of this work for you, I think. Kelly switches between comedy and more meaningful moments in such a seamless and truthful way. Also, in my experience, death and mourning isn’t only sombre - it also provides moments of absolute hilarity- sometimes you need to laugh amongst the sobs. Somehow your body knows this, so you find yourself in hysterics one moment and on the floor the next. Life is light and shade, and grief is a non-linear rollercoaster.

R: Do you think this play has the potential to shift how people think about death and the grieving process? If so, in what ways?

C: I think it will hopefully make people tune into the realities of losing a loved one and not being in a financial position to pay for their funeral, and to start a conversation about the inequalities around that. In the play Abigail has lost her mum very recently, so I would say she’s in shock, and her battle throughout the play is to say goodbye to her mum so she can start grieving her. It looks at the challenges she faces in trying to be able to even start grieving her mum and how money is blocking that. I hope it opens a conversation about the importance of funerals and goodbyes as a crucial moment in a grieving process and how they should be accessible to all.

R: Do you think this play offers a cathartic experience for both the actors and the audience? If so, how?

C: I don’t know if it’s cathartic. A lot of audiences find it very emotional and connect with it if they have lost someone, and I think it offers some space for people to think about their own loss and grief in a safe and supported way, as it is a fictional story and has lots of humour! One man emailed us after seeing it in Edinburgh to say he hadn’t cried for his mum for 8 years and the play has allowed him to cry for her again and that was pretty special. 

R: Did you or anyone else in the team find it therapeutic for your grief to create the play?

C: I can only speak for myself and I would say I didn’t find it therapeutic as such but I did enjoy sharing my own experiences with my mum where that felt right and reflecting on her role in my life through the play. I had to put boundaries in place so I didn’t overshare and also so it wasn’t traumatising to talk about. Therapy helped me do this- ensuring I wasn’t using the play as therapy but was taking care of my own mental health well.